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Monday, July 27, 2026

The Secret with a Face




The house had a rhythm of its own.


Not the comforting rhythm of ordinary families, where mornings blurred into school runs and hurried breakfasts, laughter, songs from the radio.. but something far older, far stranger.

 Every movement seemed rehearsed. Every conversation felt as though it had already been spoken a thousand times before. Even the furniture appeared to know where it belonged, rooted to the floor forever, as though it had actually grown there decades earlier.


Libertine noticed it immediately.


She had always prized movement. Freedom. Air. A life where tomorrow did not have to resemble yesterday. Yet this place felt preserved behind glass, suspended in an endless loop from which no one was permitted to escape. Or speak.


The routines were sacred.


Meals at the same hour.


The same chairs.


The same stories.


The same complaints.


The same silences.


It wasn't stability she sensed.


It was captivity disguised as traditional normality. 

Just be grateful,  she would be told over and over. Be grateful for being here - no one wants you.


Then came the whispers.


"He's living with his elderly relatives."


"No, they're his grandparents."


"They're not related."


"Of course they are."


"No... they absolutely aren't."


"Who is she?"


The contradictions drifted through the house like the cigar smoke coming from the old man, impossible to catch, impossible to ignore. 

Every answer generated another question. Every certainty dissolved into confusion.

Confusion reigned.


Libertine found herself wondering whether anyone here actually knew the truth, or whether they had simply repeated the same stories for so long that fiction had become family history.


One thing, however, required no interpretation.


The young student hated her.


Not loudly.


Not dramatically.


His hostility lived in the spaces between words. The refusal to make eye contact. The clipped replies. The hurried exits whenever she entered a room. He behaved as though she carried an infectious disease, as though acknowledging her existence might unravel something carefully stitched together.


To Libertine, the reason became painfully obvious.


She wasn't merely an unexpected guest.


She was evidence.


An embarrassing secret that had unexpectedly grown legs and walked through the front door.


She had a face.


She had a voice.


And voices have a habit of speaking.


For years he had behaved as though she did not exist. It had been easier that way. Easier to invent another life than explain the one he had.


Depending on who stood before him, his history transformed effortlessly.


Sometimes his parents had died together in a tragic car accident.


Other times his father was an immensely wealthy and powerful man whose business affairs kept him permanently abroad.


His mother, in another version, had succumbed to a devastating illness.


Each audience received the story they were most likely to admire, pity, or believe.


Truth was never the objective.


Usefulness was.


Now Libertine stood before him, breathing, observing, remembering.


How could he explain her?


A forgotten cousin?


A lodger?


A family friend?


An adopted sister?


Every lie he'd ever told suddenly collided with another, collapsing under its own impossible weight.


He looked at her not with affection, nor even with curiosity, but with calculation.


She could dismantle years of carefully constructed mythology simply by introducing herself.


Libertine said nothing.


She didn't need to.


Sometimes the greatest threat to a lie is not accusation.


It is the quiet presence of someone who knows where the cracks begin.


And she knew.


There was no way on God's earth she was ever going to fit neatly into this gallery of damaged souls.


There was the rambling old man, whose moods swung without warning, who raged with frightening ease and delighted in reminding her that she would never amount to more than "that cheap whore of a mother's daughter." His words were designed to diminish her, to convince her that shame was hereditary.


Then there was the gentle old woman, so quiet she seemed to apologise for occupying space. She had long ago learnt that survival depended upon silence. To challenge the household's madness was to invite it. Better, she had decided, to tiptoe around it.  Ignore it.


The young student, meanwhile, regarded Libertine as a catastrophe waiting to happen. Not because of anything she had done, but because she existed. 

She represented the one thing the family had spent years suppressing, she was a living reminder that the past had not stayed buried. In their eyes she wasn't simply inconvenient; she was dangerous. She had to go. To be hushed. To disappear.


Libertine moved through the fractured household like an electrical current, exposing every faulty connection. Wherever she stood, the lights flickered. Conversations stopped. Doors closed. Eyes followed her.


She realised then that they did not fear who she was.


They feared what she might say.


She understood enmeshed families instinctively. They survived by demanding loyalty over truth, obedience over individuality, silence over honesty. Boundaries were treated as betrayal. Independence was seen as abandonment.


She had spent her entire life running towards freedom.


This family wanted her to surrender it. 


She would not bow to them.


She would not absorb their violence, excuse their cruelty, or allow their distorted boundaries to become her own.


If survival demanded movement, then movement was what she would choose.


She would do what she had always done.


Run.



Friday, July 24, 2026

The Woman who Forgot Him

 




There are places that smell of bleach, antiseptic and hell. They are where the broken minds live.


Hospitals know how to make hope sound possible. Within reach. They soften words until they no longer resemble the things they describe. 

They don't speak of electricity passing through the brain. They speak of treatment. They don't speak of memories being washed away. They speak of temporary side effects.


Temporary.


What an elegant word.


Dr Jimmy's mother believed salvation lived inside a machine. And the house of God.


Schizoaffective disorder. 

Bipolar type. 

Labels written neatly inside a folder while something immeasurably human sat across the desk, exhausted. 

She, his Mother, had fought her own mind for so long that when they offered her oblivion disguised as relief, she reached for it with both hands.


She wanted silence.


Who could blame her?


The voices had stalked her for years. They whispered that she was filthy. Worthless. Unlovable. They criticised every breath she took, every room she entered, every mirror she dared to glance into. She wrote about them in secret, as though placing them onto paper might finally convince someone they were real.


She spent a lifetime asking the same question.


*Why do they hate me so much?*


Nobody ever answered.


So one morning they travelled together.


The hospital was impossibly bright, as though light had become another instrument.  Dr Jimmy remembered waiting. Waiting is the cruellest occupation. You measure time not by minutes but by fear.


Eventually they wheeled her back towards him.


She was sitting in a wheelchair.


Her eyes...


He searched for the words grand enough to contain that moment, but there were none.


She looked through him.


Not at him.


Through him.


Her head tilted gently, like a curious child examining a stranger.


"Who is this?"


The sentence was an almighty punch to his gut.


"Mom... it's me."


Nothing.


No recognition.


No smile.


Only confusion wearing his mother's face.


He was assured memories often drift away before returning.


Bits and pieces first.


Then most of them.


Then life resumes.


Except life didn't resume.

 It simply continued without the person who once inhabited it.

She never came back.


She died believing he was still a teenager.


The man he became never existed for her.


Every achievement disappeared before he could place it into her hands. Every heartbreak remained untold. Every joke was heard for the first time, over and over again. Every coffee became an introduction.


He was mourning someone who was still breathing.


He watched himself become a ghost inside his own mother's mind.


That is a peculiar kind of bereavement.


The dead eventually stop changing.


Memory loss keeps killing the same person repeatedly.


People asked whether he knew his mother.


The truthful answer was..


Not really.


He knew fragments.


He knew diagnoses.


He knew medications lined across kitchen counters. Empty whisky bottles hidden beneath the cushions.


He knew appointments.


He knew disappearances.


But he didn't know the girl she had been before illness colonised her thoughts. He didn't know what made her laugh when nobody was watching. He didn't know who had broken her heart, what dreams she buried, who she wanted to become before the voices convinced her she deserved nothing.


She remained an unfinished book.


Only after she died did she begin speaking.


Boxes appeared.


Journals.


College essays.


Children's stories written in looping handwriting.


Words she had hidden from everyone.


There she was.


Not the patient.


Not the diagnosis.


Not the woman disappearing in front of him.


Just... his mother.


Brilliant.


Whimsical.


Terrified.


Funny.


A writer.


He recognised himself inside those pages long before he recognised himself in the mirror.


The inheritance she left him wasn't money.


It was sentences.


And buried beneath every paragraph was the same invisible plea.


*Please understand me.*


I think he finally does.


Memory is an untidy thing.


It carries shame beside joy.


Trauma beside tenderness.


Love beside grief.


We spend our lives trying to escape painful memories without realising they're stitched to the beautiful ones.


Pull hard enough at one thread...


...and the whole tapestry begins to unravel.


 Some people reach a point where every door has closed.

 Memories are not simply recordings stored inside the skull.

They are where mothers live.

Where children remain children.

Where love recognises its own face.

Electricity can quiet a storm.


Sometimes...


It also extinguishes the lighthouse.

And somewhere, in a room that no longer exists except inside him, a woman looks at her own Son and asks,

"Who are you?"

And he has been asking himself that question ever since.



Monday, July 20, 2026

The Pink Ward

 




Dr Jimmy sat alone in the day room, his chair turned towards the wall as though he had chosen exile over conversation. How he hated the pathetic feeble minded idiots in this place. Such dullards.


But he knew he was sat in a privileged seat. 


Money arrived for him from beyond the hospital walls. Enough to buy Coca-Cola from the trolley on Thursdays, enough for miniature Lion bars that he unwrapped with almost ceremonial precision. The other patients noticed. They noticed everything. They hated Dr Jimmy.


The wrapper from his latest chocolate bar crackled between his fingers.


Four nurses approached.


Three men.


One woman.


The patients had long ago renamed her Nurse Ratched.


Not because it was her name, but because it suited the way she carried herself. Upright, immaculate, lips painted crimson, curls untouched by the chaos around her. She seemed to belong to another world entirely.


The tallest orderly stopped behind Jimmy.


"Jimmy... Dr Jimmy."


No reply. Just a bored heave.


"You remember our conversation yesterday? About your treatment. We were hoping it might help."


Jimmy continued fiddling with the cellophane wrapper.


"You're taking me to the Pink Ward."


It wasn't a question.


The orderly hesitated.


"Yes."


Leather restraints slid from his shoulder with a familiar hiss. The buckles clinking.


Jimmy finally looked up.


"You're putting those on me?"


He smiled without warmth.


"Come on, lads. You know I'm here because of lies. You know that's why I lose my temper sometimes. I am an innocent man!"


No one answered.


"Dr Jimmy... please stand and face the wall."


For a moment it seemed he might refuse.


Instead, he rose quietly.


He turned.


The restraints closed around his waist with practised efficiency. Heavy leather. Cold buckles. His wrists secured before he had quite realised he had surrendered them.


How had it come to this?


He had done nothing wrong.


The accusations belonged to other people. Pathetic, stupid people! With zero IQ. Low intelligence.  Idiots!


They should have been the ones behind locked doors.


Not him.


The procession crossed the hexagonal courtyard.


From above it resembled a labyrinth, each path leading somewhere nobody wished to go. Different wards. Different treatments. Different kinds of despair.


Beyond barred windows voices rose and fell.


Some shouted.


Some pleaded.


Some laughed at things invisible to everyone else. 


One hundred and thirty souls, each carrying a private catastrophe.


Jimmy kept walking.


"Am I coming back?" he asked quietly. His arrogant demeanor evaporating quickly.


Nurse Ratched looked ahead without breaking stride.


"That depends, Jimmy."


He stared at the back of her perfectly pressed uniform.


God, he hated her.


The perfume.


The painted lips.


The calm certainty.


Everything she represented.


Iron gates opened.


Then slammed shut behind them with a crash that echoed through the corridor.


He was led into a changing room.


"Remove your clothes."


The hospital gown hung loosely from his shoulders, tied behind his neck. It offered little dignity.


He caught Nurse Ratched looking in his direction.


"Get your fill," he muttered. "You can kiss my bare arse while you're at it."


No one reacted.


The gurney waited beneath harsh white lights.


Leather straps again.


Chest.


Waist.


Arms.


Ankles.


"I hate every one of you," he spat.


"We know," one of the orderlies replied softly.


The trolley rolled through double doors into the treatment suite.


Machines hummed.


Metal reflected the fluorescent lights.


Another nurse stood beside the equipment, checking instruments with practised movements.


Jimmy's breathing quickened.


His confidence drained away.


For the first time that morning, fear reached his eyes.


"No..."


The wheels stopped.


Silence settled over the room.


The machine continued its low electrical murmur, indifferent to protests, innocence, guilt, or memory.


Beyond the closed door, somewhere deep in the Pink Ward,  another patient began to scream.


Nobody inside the treatment room looked up.


They had all heard it before.

Ready nurse?

I'm ready.

Here Jimmy, bite down on this, we wouldn't want you hurting yourself. A white cotton pad was pushed between his teeth. Not whiskey soaked either.

And with that the machine screamed,  Dr Jimmy shook violently,  and the lights on the pink painted walls dimmed.









Saturday, July 11, 2026

The Man She No Longer Knew




She had watched it only once.


Once was enough.


The security camera in the kitchen had no sympathy. It recorded everything with the cold honesty of a machine. There he was, framed beneath the familiar light fitting, wrapped around another woman as though the kitchen belonged to them instead.


She almost wished she had never installed the cameras.


Almost.


"I never touched her," he said.


Libertine looked at him quietly.


"No?"


"No. You're imagining it."


She let the silence settle between them.


"You've become very creative lately."


"I swear."


She laughed then. Not because anything was amusing, but because sometimes laughter was the only thing preventing tears.


"You forgot something."


"What?"


"The cameras."


His face drained of colour.


"Oh my God..."


"Yes," she said softly. "Oh my God."


For a moment neither of them spoke.


Then he whispered, "Please..."


"I'm leaving."


"But... it's your house."


She picked up her coat.


"Exactly. So kindly remove yourself before I return."


His confidence cracked like thin ice.


"You can't leave me."


"I already have."


"I can't live without you."


She paused at the doorway.


"Yes," she replied. "Clearly you can."


He reached for her arm.


"Please."


She turned slowly and looked at him, really looked at him, as though he were a stranger asking for directions.


"Who are you?"


He stared.


"I don't know you."


"Libertine..."


"You're very handsome. I understand why women fall at your feet."


Her voice remained calm.


"But I don't recognise the man standing in front of me."


The words landed harder than any punch.


Outside, somewhere beyond the garden, a train announced its arrival with a mournful whistle.


She smiled faintly.


"When the train comes around again," she said, "I'm getting on it."


He began to panic.


"Don't leave."


She opened the front door.


"I'll kill myself!"


She didn't even turn around.


"Too late."


The train screamed along the tracks in the distance.


He grabbed the heavy rusted chain hanging beside the old gate and wrapped it dramatically around his neck.


"Look!" he shouted. "I'm strangling myself! Listen to me! My heart! Can't you hear me?"


Libertine sighed.


"No."


She walked a little farther.


"Please! I love you!"


She stopped.


For a heartbeat he thought she was coming back.


She looked over her shoulder.


"Who are you?"


The question was genuine.


Not cruel.


Not theatrical.


Simply true.


Because the man she had loved no longer existed.


Perhaps he never had.


She watched him standing there, clutching the chain, waiting for forgiveness or applause that would never come.


Men, she thought, can be extraordinary performers when the audience is leaving.


The train slowed beside the platform.


Its doors sighed open.


She stepped aboard.


Then, almost against her own better judgement, she stepped back down again.


He looked at her with desperate hope.


Without a word she walked over, removed the heavy rusted chain from around his neck, and let it fall onto the gravel with a dull clang.


"Stop embarrassing yourself."


He reached for her hand.


"So... you'll stay?"


"For now."


She studied his face as though searching for something...


"But believe me..."


She shook her head.


"I still don't know who you are."


"You are my girlfriend."


"Really?"


A tired smile crossed her face.


"Well, ain't that something."


She walked past him into the house.


Behind her, he stood in silence.


Libertine glanced once towards the kitchen, where the little camera still blinked its tiny red light.


Machines never lied. Well not unless they were programmed to, or edited, manipulated. 


People almost always did. Lie.


As she closed the door she murmured to herself, with all the weary wisdom of someone who had lived through too many disappointments,


"Men..."


She smiled without warmth.


"They can never seem to drink from one well for the whole of their ridiculous lives."



Friday, July 10, 2026

Working Title.


 

She was Still Waving



There were three of us in the car that night.

The driver had died some time ago, yet nobody questioned why he was still behind the wheel. He drove as though death were a minor inconvenience, death had changed nothing except his complexion. One hand resting casually on the steering wheel while the tyres balanced on the edge of a track barely wide enough for the car. Beyond the window, the land fell away into darkness. I prepared for the worst. 

No one asked him to slow down.

In the back sat a woman from overseas. She spoke quietly, as though she already knew how the journey would end. I thought I knew her from somewhere, not quite knowing where but whatever, it wasn't important right now.


"We're almost there," she whispered.


Ahead stood a stone house. A farmhouse, Georgian,  English.  "But we aren't in England.."

It had been all over the newspapers.

A terrible family tragedy had unfolded there. The woman who lived in the house had been portrayed as the killer - a woman struggling with severe mental illness, she'd had mental breaks before, but no one had seen this coming. 

Her real story had been reduced to sensational headlines. Rumours had travelled faster than facts, and the truth had been buried beneath speculation.

As the car approached, she appeared in the garden.

She smiled.

Then she raised her hand and waved.

Not angrily.

Not desperately.

Simply... waving.

As though she had been expecting us. She had something she needed to say.


The woman beside me leaned closer.

"Did you see the photographs?"

"I did," I replied.

"So everything is fine?"

"Yes..."

But it wasn't. I knew the photographs were more than enough.

For me anyhow.

But it wasn't.

The car dissolved into static.

Suddenly, I was staring at the evening news."

The presenter spoke in measured tones.

"Police have arrested her brother."


I stared at the screen.

"What?"

"He was arrested, he killed them all. "

"But why?"


"For the inheritance," someone answered behind me. "Money."

The words echoed around the room, it was more than unsettling. 

"Oh my God..."

Then another voice.

Quiet.

Certain.

"That's your brother, Charles."


I turned.

"What do you mean?"


"Charles is like that."

"How do you know?"


The reply came without hesitation.


"Just believe me when I tell you. Watch him. Be careful. "


I felt the room growing colder.


"Yes... yes, of course."


The television flickered.


The house vanished.


The car returned.


But the woman in the garden was gone.


Only the empty gate moved in the wind.


"We've missed her," I said.


The driver never took his eyes off the road.


"No," he murmured.


"She'll return."


"How do you know?"


"Because the dead can forgive many things. And they can find you easily. "


He paused.


"But they will never stop searching for the truth."


The road disappeared into the darkness.


 Behind us, lost in the dark, a hand lifted...

Still waving.




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